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Queen Nepy
19 December 2003 @ 07:04 pm

Your friend Leo loves beer. He says it’s a better thirst quencher than any other drink, which is why he likes to have one with his lunch. He tells you he knows there are going to be a lot of beer at Sandra’s party and that it should be a pretty great time.

The party is in full gear when Leo arrives. It doesn’t take him long to find out where the beer is. From that moment on, Leo’s events are ruined.

Each gulp of beer Leo swallowing makes its way first into his stomach and then into his small intestine, the alcohol is absorbed into his bloodstream. Once the alcohol has been absorbed, it travels in the bloodstream to all Leo’s cells and tissues, including his brain. Within minutes, Leo is feeling the effects of the beer.

Eventually the alcohol reaches Leo’s liver, which breaks it down into carbon dioxide and water. The more Leo drinks, the harder his liver will have to work to help aid his body of alcohol. In fact, it will take Leo’s liver more than an hour to break down the alcohol in each bottle of beer he drinks.

If after a few beers Leo has a B.A.L. of 0.1, it means that 1% or 1/1000, of his blood is pure alcohol. That is enough for Leo to be declared legally "intoxicated", or drunk, in most states (or countries). After a few bears, Leo starts feeling relaxed. He had a rough day at school (probably because a certain someone was stalking him ).

On his way to the bathroom, he knocked over things, then laughs and points at it. He misses and urinates all over the carpet and seat. His friends notice and laugh at him. Leo is now a depressed bum.

The lesson learned? Don’t let Leo talk to girls because it gets him drunk.

...So yeah, health is my soon-to-be profession. LOL.